My Maladies

I got a crook in my neck that runs down my spine

out through my feet in a perfect straight line

It moves when I move get worse when

I try to find comfort in the way that I lie.

And I'm tryin' to keep from cryin'

It's dark and it's sneaky like a spider and her web

and I'm only a fly caught in her thread, left voiceless

and trapped, my heart heavy with dread,

death making me try to recall what it was God had said.

And I try to pretend that this silk is my bed

My jaw needs to crack it's stuck in my skull.

Got a lump in my throat the size of a ball.

all the buildings around me seem uncomfortably tall;

when I look back from where I was I see

I've come no where at all.

It's not the road that's too long, it's that my steps are too small.

I AM GOING COMPLETELY INSANE. even now, I can’t seem to rhyme “me” with “me” and all that’s left of “me” is a body full of chicken noodle soup and boiled brains Stay safe and stay sane. stay quiet and keep your head down low. dry toast and low fat butter. I want real butter and I want it now. I want to swim in my music. I want to swallow my scars and hide them in art. I want to feel free some day and, I want inspiration to keep the wanting at bay.

I spent most of my young life with some dirt on my nose, catching newts in a loafer box and carrying a fake rifle before I knew that people pull real triggers and boy, do they do it often. Now the milk isn't even chocolate, and I've got my foot in a giant ashtray (and I mean that quite literally). Tried to get chocolate milk but they only had soy. Bought it anyway. The straw doesn't work right and I'm sucking up mostly air. Seems like that's what I mostly do nowadays. suck up air. Tossed the straw wrapper into the ash with all the cigarette butts and my left foot, wishing for a cigarette as I did so. Wishing some things were still out of the question. I keep passing doors that lead to no where and I'm sick of making promises then dismissing them politely. I own two shirts and both of them are red. Red only goes with so much. When I stand under these florescent lights my shirt turns orange and suddenly I'm green. Sometimes I ride the bus just to feel like I've somewhere to be. That isn't true, per say. If these thoughts seem disjointed it's cause they are. I need to take walks more often.

New Song

I've been thinkin that I'm due for a new set of eyes.

I've been misleaded since 1965.

All of my lovers are either dead or a thousand miles away.

Don't know, if I saw them, what exactly it is I would say.

How 'bout "how are ya? I see you've got yourself a wife and two kids."

Seem to remember how you said you never wanted none of this.

I never wanted this

I never wanted this.

Sorry I pretended,

and sorry this is all that I've got

The cards are all falling,

and all that will be left are the things I've forgot.

I'm a chaser. A heartbreaker.

And once you start It gets difficult to stop.