Insomnia

What I really want is to forget

Erase my brain

Go insane

Lose all memory of what you have done

Even all the good stuff

So that I can restart and playback.

It will be kind of like I never met you.

Forget about falling asleep in your arms

For the very first time, my contours perfectly into yours

Waking up but feigning slumber just to feel you smiling at me.

I already forget what it’s like to be loved by you,

To not feel threatened by your confidence,

To feel safe and unjudged in your presence.

Now all I feel is your righteous indifference,

How okay you are while I

Dread going to bed because I know that all it means,

Is a nightmare in my conscious brain,

Screaming whirling ghouls in my head that don’t allow me to fall into sleep,

Even when dark circles surround my eyes

And my body is exhausted.